Bloggy business

From now on, this blog is at: http://nettle.wordpress.com/

yes, that's

http://nettle.wordpress.com/

I haven't been liking the changes in Blogger and after giving Wordpress a try, I like it better. I'll leave up what's here, but any new posts from now on will be at

http://nettle.wordpress.com/

Goals for March

The "Goals" thing was really helpful so I'm going to pick it up again, at least for now.

Earth path:
Get outside for at least twice a week - this doesn't include walking to and from work, but going out for the specific reason of Going Out and visiting the deer herd, or seeing the plants start to return, or just walking out the door and following my feet.
Attend the Llyn Hydd Equinox ceremony
Create and lead the ritual for my pagan group
Do a solitary version of the AODA Alban Eiler ceremony
Daily meditation, including work with the Avalon stuff I just found

Water Path
I have had in mind for some time to start a Druidry discussion group - I am going to take steps this month to make it happen, probably by talking it over with my Llyn Hydd friends.

Fire Path
I want to really study the Candidate Initation - not from the perspective of one who has taken it but as one who may someday give it. I want to break it down and work with coming to understand it.

Air Path
I want to write two book reviews, of Piggot and Ellis, and post them here. I've been looking at the ADF Dedicant program, and while I still don't particularly want to get involved with the ADF, they are a large and important Druid group and I would like to come to know them better, so I'm starting in on some of the Dedicant work. Most of it overlaps nicely with AODA work, so I see at as a sort of a supplement to the Air Path. I might do my "modern Druidry" paper on the ADF.

Spirit Path
I feel like this part of the path is kind of on hold for me - I have enough else going on right now that I'm not going to think in any explicit way about this aspect this month. Some of it is always churning along in the background, though.

Music Spiral
Practice my tin whistle every day; play "The Parting Glass" nicely

Divination spiral
I've started a practice of drawing an Ogham before bed, reading the entry on it in Mountfort, and falling asleep meditating on it. I'm continuing this practice through March until I have done this with each one at least once.

Wool spiral
Continue with my crochet project and with spinning practice. I want to learn to knit this month as well. I would like to be able to consistently produce workable yarn with the spindle by the end of the month. We'll see.

Avalon Within: Inner Sovereignty and Personal Transformation Through the Avalonian Mysteries

(cross-posted from Vox)

I read this book this week, while I was on my Internet fast and reading all the stuff on my shelf that I hadn't gotten to yet. It uses the Avalonian landscape - that is, landscape features from the vicinity of Glastonbury Tor - as the basis for a fivefold system that combines the Western magical tradition with the Mabinogion and a large helping of feminist psychology. To be honest, I wasn't expecting very much. I love working with women and female-centered magical groups have a particular energy all their own that I miss. However, such groups far too often fall into becoming annoying bitch sessions with lots of poor-meism, combined with shallow pop psychologizing.

Um, anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by the book. I do find psychology personally annoying, but that doesn't mean it can't be a valuable tool. To my surprise, the author really does know her way around the Western magical tradition and makes some impressively high-level observations - she seems to have done a great deal of her homework. I hope that doesn't sound condescending - I mean it with utmost respect. While there is ample room for plaintive bitching in the practices she gives, it's balanced out by an emphasis on taking that deep inner work and putting it to work in the outer world. I've started working with the system, and while it's too soon to make a comment about it, I like it so far. I am seriously thinking of joining the Sisterhood of Avalon, the associated order. I think it makes a good complement to my AODA work - the one complaint I have about the AODA is that there doesn't seem to be any acknowledgement of the varying experiences between the genders. It's not even really a complaint, but I do believe that there are women's and men's mysteries, and I want to keep that feminine power in my work. A woman's group would bring some more of that sort of thing into my life. I also checked their "required reading" list and saw that I have read all but two of those books, and that they include Franz Bardon, of all people, on the list - I can see where it is that she did her aforementioned homework. There is plenty of overlap with the AODA stuff - she even has a section of the book that talks about three-fold, four-fold, and five-fold systems that is very close to what is in the Handbook.

I have until Beltaine to decide -they only accept new members at certain times - so I'm going to work with this material a few times a week and see how I feel about it by then.

Poison Ivy

Robert Patrick, one of my fellow druids, posted a wonderful blog entry today about tending his grove. He talks about poison ivy and blackberry brambles, and that got me thinking about those incredible plants.
Poison ivy is amazing. It's a small, modest-looking plant; not unattractive but not showy, growing low to the ground, hardy in various climates. It springs up along verges and anywhere the ground has been disturbed. That's where its magic shows - for all its modestly it is actually a fierce guardian of the earth.
The places where it grows are places where plants are working to reestablish themselves after a disturbance. Poison ivy rings groves of trees that have been left standing after a forest is cut, as if to say, "You got the rest but you won't have these!" Humans can be stunningly unconscious to the ground beneath our feet. Poison ivy makes us pay attention, or suffer the consequences. Mow it or weed whack it and the oils from the crushed leaves will hurt you. People have died from burning poison ivy - we may not simply burn or trample whatever we want, because poison ivy will be there to retaliate.
I have always been immune to poison ivy. I was raised on goat's milk and our goats ate poison ivy, passing on an immunity to me. In other words, the food I consumed was a product of my immediate local environment, and so by eating that food I became part of that environment. I know there are scientific explanations for this sort of thing, but to explain it in a mystical way, I was part of the land and the land knew me, and kept me safe. It's the same reason I have no pollen allergies when I'm at home but I do when I'm away. I don't take that immunity for granted, since it's been many years since I've lived off of my local environment, and I maintain a healthy respect for poison ivy.
Nettles (my own favorite) are another plant like this. They like scrubby "waste" areas and will sting anyone careless enough to brush past them. Nettles sting, especially when approached carelessly. If you know them well, though, and can grasp them just right, you won't get stung. I've harvested nettles without gloves on and gotten away unscathed (though not always.) Unlike poison ivy, nettles are edible, delicious and nutritious, and while all they have for the unwary or unconscious is a sting, if you take the time to get to know them they reward you.
Blackberry brambles are yet another protector plant. They are tenacious and prickly and create almost impenetrable barriers. There is no immunity to blackberry prickles - they are sharp and will cut anyone who is unwary enough to approach. When I was a kid I used to crawl on my belly through brambles, getting the occasional scratch, in order to sit amongst the canes and feast on blackberries, feeling utterly safe, protected and well-fed. I'm much too big to do that anymore, but I still like seeing bramble patches because they look like islands of safety to me.

Here in Philadelphia, we have a huge park system. Fairmount Park has wide open fields, forests, scrubby areas, areas that are tended and those left wild. It also features packs of feral dogs, packs of semi-feral teenagers, random dumped trash, outdoor crackhouses - Philadelphia has some serious social ills and it's all reflected in the park system. And yet, there are places where it's clean, quiet and safe. These are the areas that are ringed with poison ivy and brambles - beyond these barriers, there's no trash, no signs of human activity - these groves have guardiand at the gates, and it's only by respecting and honoring the guards that one can get past.

Writing

I put this over on my vox but thought it belonged here as well.



There's a thread on the AODA mailing list about authorship. It's left me feeling like everyone in the world has been published except me.
Every now and then, in my work, I wind up with a title page credit ("Photo editing by... " "Research by...," that sort of thing.) Sometimes I even get a thank-you in an acknowledgements section. Seeing my name in print thrills me to no end. All of the books that contain my name in the acknowledgements or title page contain lots and lots of my own words. I write figure captions and test questions and credit lines and bullet summaries, and I rewrite huge amounts of bad prose. I've never gotten an author credit for anything. I'm not saying I deserve an author credit for any of that - I'm just a member of the pit-stop crew to the author who is driving the racecar.
I want to drive the racecar, though. I want to write something that is my very own and have it published somewhere besides a blog. I'd settle for an online publication; it might be a good place to start. I want to be in print, though - actual print, on a page, with real ink. That's my goal for this year.
I'm probably doing this backwards, because I have no idea what I want to write about. I imagine most authors think of something they want to write, figure out how to write about it, and learn about the publishing process. I'm completely backwards. I know the publishing process intimately, I have a pretty good idea about how to prepare a manuscript, but I have no idea what to write about.

What's my subject?

Imbolc

This Imbolc has caused me to see how I'm just a wee bit overcommitted. It's hard to complain about - for so long I had to do this all alone that it seems silly to complain about having too many to satisfy. Friday night, I did a private AODA Imbolc ritual. Saturday, I did a "non-demoninational pagan" ceremony with my eclectic group. Sunday, I joined Llyn Hydd Grove for their Imbolc ritual. Sunday afternoon, I performed my Druid Apprentice initiation ceremony. One solid weekend of Imbolcing. I enjoy all the groups I work with, and I don't want to give any of them up. Still, it feels scattered to me.
I wish my imaginary grove existed. With the power of imagination in mind, here is how I would like next Imbolc to be:

On the afternoon of Saturday, Feburary 2nd 2008, a grove of druids meets. Some of us have been with this grove since its inception, some are first-timers, some are in between. A few of us are AODA initiates, but some are either followers of a different path of Druidry or merely curious. We establish the grove according to the AODA format and perform the ritual. It's longer and more involved than the one given in the Handbook because we've met a few weeks before to talk about what we want to do and some people have ideas to incorporate. The ceremony is partially AODA and partially uniquely ours, and we do it in the early afternoon to catch the waning sunlight, since it's fairly cold out.
After the ceremony is done, we come in (I'm picturing this in my backyard but I don't want that to limit where I might end up by next year, so it's a generic backyard) and warm up with hot cider and a bowl of nourishing soup, and other nice food items contributed by grove members. We share a meal and talk about whatever we want - we enjoy each other's company and become better friends over the meal. After all that, we have a brief meeting to formally go over Grove business and set times and dates for activities between now and Ostara.
Tonight, it happens that one of our members has joined the AODA and wants to be initiated into the Order as a Candidate. Anyone who hasn't already been through that initiation heads home at this time. We have planned for this, of course, and have set up a space indoors (since it's cold and dark out now this is better done inside). We send the candidate off to prepare himself while we set up the altar and transform the room into a sacred grove, and when all is set the candidate enters and the ceremony is performed.

By the time that's done, it's gotten late and we're all kind of tired, but happy and excited for the new initiate. Everyone goes home, I clean up, do the dishes, and sleep until noon on Sunday.

That's more intense and involved than anything I did this weekend, but it's all compressed into one afternoon and evening. It's also much more focused and more got done.

Mill Creek Grove

Note – what follows is entirely fictional. I know very few druids and no AODA’ers in the area, so I don’t think I could get together enough people to support the kind of structure I’m outlining below. It’s something that has been on my mind, though, so I thought I should write it down – you never know what might happen. I have tried to integrate AODA practice with my own preferences and with lessons I’ve learned from past group work.


Mill Creek Grove

We meet for each of the eight seasonal festivals of the Sun Path. Our ritual will take place on the weekend day nearest to the date of the festival. Everyone is also encouraged to do their own private observations on the day of the festival, alone or in smaller groups. However, the main ritual should not be neglected in favor of private practice.

We meet once a month, on a date determined in the previous month’s meeting, for a group meditation. The date is flexible here so that schedules can be accommodated. These are Moon Path meetings, and all respect will be paid to the phase the moon is in at the time, but I have found that restricting the date to a particular moon phase results in awkward scheduling problems. All phases of the moon have value and can be honored, so there’s no need to proclaim one particular phase as the correct one. The goal here is for as many of us to be able to participate as possible.

We also meet once a month, in a separate meeting on another night, as a study group. All members are encouraged to come but the study group can be considered optional – two and sometimes three meetings a month can be onerous for many people, especially those with children, and the goal here isn’t to place a burden but to give opportunities to those who want it. Study group members should be earnest and committed to the topic of the evening, doing reading and giving serious thought to the subject before coming to the group. Do not come to the study group if you have nothing to contribute – this is not about one or two people hearing themselves talk, but an exchange of ideas. If any one Grove member is particularly knowledgeable about a subject, that person is encouraged to step up as a discussion leader.

This is the basic foundation for the grove. Other activities, such as community service work, may come up in the course of things. I can also see sub-groups forming of those working the various Spirals – if two or more people are working on the same spiral, they should get together to compare notes and practice together. It would be wonderful to have something like a “Spiral Night,” where the poets could read their poetry, musicians could play for us, diviners could do readings, that sort of thing.

All activities should be conducted outdoors as the weather and circumstances permit. While no Druid should be particularly bothered by cold or damp weather, especially in a seasonal festival, it is obviously going to be more difficult to focus on meditation or a discussion topic in heavy rain, extreme cold, or oppressive heat. It’s also often difficult to find private outdoor space in an urban area, and I for one have a hard time conducting ritual if I feel like a public spectacle. My backyard is one option if we can get a fence up but the subject of location is one that needs further discussion. Any location has to be accessible within reasonable walking distance of public transportation – I don’t own a car and I don’t want anyone to be limited as to participation by transportation issues. My living room is open for meditation and study but I would prefer it if we found some other, more neutral space for this.

Leadership – founding members and any who have regularly attended Sun and Moon gatherings for more than three months have access to leadership roles. I am a strong believer that anyone who has something to contribute in this way should do so, but I have also seen what happens in the absence of strong leadership, which is chaos. Consensus is encouraged but can only get us so far. I see my own role as a sort of master of ceremonies – composing, opening and closing rituals, leading guided meditations, and making any final calls on decisions when consensus cannot be reached. This leads many other leadership roles. We need someone to be an organizer – figure out where and when we are meeting, and communicate this information to everyone. We need leaders for study groups, which I imagine as being passed around to various individuals as they have areas of particular expertise. I would refer to JMG’s “Inside a Magical Lodge” for descriptions of various roles within a lodge environment – while we are not quite creating a lodge here, the lodge system has some tried-and-true methods which we would be smart to emulate. I would encourage all members to read this book. A system of officers such as a lodge employs would eliminate so much of the disorganized confusion that I’ve seen in other circles.

This is all set up with an AODA structure in mind, and I’ve used terminology particular to that group here. I don’t know if AODA membership should be required – honestly, it’s hard enough to drum up participants for this sort of thing without adding yet another requirement. Also, I don’t have the requisite credentials to start an “official” AODA grove, so it seems a bit much to ask that of people. I would gently encourage it, though. If this were to happen in real life, I would check with the Archdruid for his thoughts before proceeding.

Sun Path

The Wheel of the Year is like the temporal version of the ritual circle - the circle marks where we are in space, the place on the Wheel marks where we are in time. Time is a wheel. We mark the points along the year to honor the rhythms of the world, to stay aware of the tides of the season. Each season has its own focus, and by observing each one as it comes around in turn we are connecting with the past and the future - the Imbolc I celebrate now is the same as I celebrated last year, and the same as I will celebrate next year. Yet, like a spiral, it changes as it turns back on itself. I was a different person and the world was different a year ago. Next year I will be a different person again. Marking the Wheel honors change and sameness, all at once.

Meditation is a solitary thing - even done in groups, the real goings-on of meditation can't really be shared. The Sun festivals, though - those are group events. I can celebrate them on my own, but I'd rather do so as part of a group. We are all in this together, we all travel the wheel together - if it's Imbolc for me it's Imbolc for everyone in the community and in this latitude. Marking the Wheel is the biggest single reason I want to be part of a spiritual community - so I have people to do this with. Doing it with the same people over and over builds the power and builds the community. We don't have to be friends, or really even like each other all that much, but we do have to walk this reality together and celebrating it together brings us all closer.

Festivals
Each festival has its particular energy and its place. Below I've outlined some of my strongest associations with each time. For each one, I lead a guided meditation for the group; given below is the setting for each meditation. I take us all to that field and lead a meditation based on the theme. The meditation is only part of the ceremony; each season also has its appropriate activities, and we always also do ritual to establish sacred space and honor the gods.

Samhain - barren time, dark time, time for regrets and letting go. Samhain meditation: a barren field. Samhain theme: releasing and letting go, of things we want to see gone and things we wish could stay.

Alban Arthuan(Yule)- time for rebirth, return of the light, celebration of home. Yule meditation: a snow-covered field, asleep and peaceful. Yule theme: honoring stillness, warmth of family.

Imbolc - time to wake up, poke your head out the front door, think about what's to come. Imbolc meditation: The field is bare, but the first stirrings of life begin. Imbolc theme: looking ahead to future goals

Alban Eiler (Ostara) - egg time, spring time, new growth. Ostara meditation: The earth has been turned and prepared for planting. Ostara theme: it has begun

Beltaine - fertility, sexuality, dancing, flirting. Beltaine meditation: The grain has sprouted, green covers the fields. Beltaine meditation: Coming together with others to create the new

Alban Heruin (Litha) - high energy, party time, time for joy and faeries. Time of fruit and sweetness and plenty. Litha meditation: The grain grows high and strong. Litha theme: Coming into fruition, we celebrate our accomplishments.

Lughnasadh - the first sorrow, the first harvest, celebration of the sacrifices made to feed us. Lughnasadh meditation: The grain is cut. Lughnasadh theme: We see the outcome of our work.

Alban Elued (Mabon) - harvest time, going into the dark again, gratitude that once again the Earth has provided. Mabon meditation: a field after harvest. Mabon theme: We give thanks for all that has been successful.


In the future, moving into a more Druidry-based practice (meaning, "when I have my own Grove"), I would like to adapt the AODA seasonal ceremonies as outlined in the Handbook and combine them with this guided meditation - the AODA ceremonies do nicely for calling upon the gods and making offerings, while the meditations encourage personal, internal work - self-examination on where the participant is in life and in relation to the turning of the Wheel.

Reflections on the Moon Path

In preparation for my initiation this weekend, I’m reflecting on the paths and the spiral that got me here. The moon path is the path of meditation and inner reflection and contemplation, as described at http://www.aoda.org/curric1.htm#Moon

I’ve been on this path for a very long time. I have always meditated, even as a little kid when I didn’t know what the word meant. I sit and think. Or, sometimes, I sit and don’t think. It’s always been as natural to me as breathing, and I really have thought as little about why I do it as I think about why I breath. I do it because I have to.

My first formal education in meditation, outside of books, was at a Tibetan Buddhist center where I learned mantra meditation and visualization. Well, I didn’t really learn visualization because I have always done that. I was told over and over again by the Buddhists that visualization was really hard and I shouldn’t be discouraged not to get it right away. This made me embarrased to admit that I did actually get it right away and found it easy to hold an image in my mind. I also learned about energy anatomy and how to circulate energy through the chakras, how to connect with the earth and sky with these energies, how to become grounded and centered through breath and visualization. This was really where I learned the difference between having a talent and learning a discipline. I have always been able to slip into the Otherworld without much effort at all, to walk with the spirits and visit the faeries and all that sort of thing, as well as being able to come to single pointed concentration if I chose to. The advantage of learning meditation technique is that it gave me a vocabulary to talk about these things, and a way to share my experiences with others. It gave me ways to think about what I was doing. It’s still hard to describe but through knowing energy anatomy and such concepts I can help other people to do it as well, even if they don’t know the same vocabulary – there are subtler ways to help people along, but those only work if you actually understand what it is you’re doing in the first place.

Meditation gives me space. It opens me up, clears the cobwebs out of my head, and makes me feel open and whole. It grounds me into the earth and gives me access to worlds beyond this one. Practicing meditation gives space for the gods to enter my life. They are there anyway, of course, but if you don’t shut up long enough to meditate they are much harder to hear. And while I have described myself as having a natural talent for meditation, that doesn’t mean I can’t get out of practice. Meditation is a skill and without practice it’s much harder to do it well. The more in practice I am, the better I can do it and the more interesting it gets.

Movement meditation is another part of the moon path. I dance. I love to dance. I have always loved to dance but I also often think of myself as too clumsy, not pretty enough, not girly enough – all that crap that women tell themselves that keeps us from really being ourselves. I’m big, sturdy, and nerdy. There is nothing little or cute about me. There are lots of voices out there that would gladly tell me that I shouldn’t dance, including the ones in my own head. I do anyway, and I love it, and while I dance I do feel beautiful – free and strong and wonderful. Shutting off brain and engaging body, to music, is necessary for me. It also actually helps with the sitting kind of meditation, too – a strong body can sit much more comfortably than an out-of –shape one. It also helps when conducting ritual. I don’t actually dance when doing that (though I have done dance rituals) but dance helps me have a better idea of where my body is, how to move my hands, where to place myself in space to get the effect I want. A dancer knows how to create drama, and creating drama is also one of the skills of a priestess.

The last part of this path is the Sphere of Protection ritual. I’ve been doing it every night before bed since I learned it, and I like it – it’s like a little bedtime prayer. I have been doing this kind of thing for a long time, but I haven’t always thought of it as “protection.” I do now because I have seen enough of these past few years to make me feel like I need protection, but it’s also a way of orienting myself in space. Doing the ritual requires you to stop and notice where you are in relation to the universe, and that’s how I used to use it. Now I do think of it as protection – sacred hygiene.

Sacred hygiene - that's kind of what all this is. Meditation cleans out the head, movement keeps the body functioning right, and the Sphere keeps the nasties away from the outer environment. Really, it's right up there with brushing your teeth and washing your hands - a way to stay healthy and whole.

Why I joined the AODA

I wrote the following as a post to the AODA email group as a response to a question posted by a nonmember (and, incidentally, a good friend) asking "why should I join?", but didn't post it because others answered the question better and more succintly. There was no point posting it there but there is some point to posting it here, since it's relevant to what I'm doing.

A few weeks back, I went to an informal pub get-together for those interested in “Celtic spirituality.” Most of the attendees were Druids of one flavor or another, with a few Wiccans sprinkled in. All these people were strangers to me. When asked about my path, I said “Oh, I’m with the AODA.” Most of the people there knew what I was talking about. Some didn’t – I clarified, “John Michael Greer’s group.” That cleared it up for all but one, so I gave him a little spiel about the AODA and a reference to the website. That did it for an introduction – we were all free to go on talking about what we had gotten together to talk about, I met some interesting people and learned a few things, and it was all good.

AODA membership gave me a convenient shorthand for introducing myself – of course my group affiliation does not give the entire picture of who I am and what I do, but it's good enough to go on with. I suppose as a non-member I could have said, “Well, what I practice and value is the same as the AODA” and gotten the same result, but that feels dishonest to me – is it really the same if I’m not a member? After all, if I’m not supporting the group through membership then I’m just exploiting something that I haven’t done anything to support, which goes against those values. It’s one thing to explore the teachings and the community as a preliminary to joining, as I understand Nate to be doing – this seems totally legitimate. It’s quite another to openly identify with a group, as I did in my example – I like being able to do that and I couldn’t do so honestly without membership.

I want to establish a grove someday. I could do this without membership, and have it be my own thing and set myself up as a grand poobah. I could create my own rituals, prepare my own teaching materials, set up my own website, do my own recruiting – and to a certain extent I will have to do all of this anyway. I'm perfectly capable of it. The AODA, though, already has done lots of this work for me, including having an effective archdruid that has already taken on the demanding role of grand poobah, a role I have never aspired to. The AODA gives me an outline for teaching, a ritual format, guiding principles, an online community, initiation ceremonies, a textbook, support and guidance from elders – all for what amounts to a bargain price. When establishing my grove, I will also be able to say, “This is an AODA grove, here’s what we’re about” and have minimal confusion about the goals, values and practices of the group. By insisting that grove members also be AODA members, I know that they know what they are taking on and have already committed to a particular path of study and practice.

Group membership and participation in a degree system also give me credentials. Some dismiss these as “just a piece of paper,” but that piece of paper is important to me – it’s a record of my path so far and a map of where I want to go. Recognition from the Grand Grove gives me some authority and assurance to others that I know what I’m talking about. Some could argue that this isn’t important as long as I really do know my stuff, but how are other people to know this? Anyone who has taught a class will also understand the need to establish authority, and credentials are a very effective first step for doing so. With credentials, I start off from a position of authority, and it’s mine to lose from there if I do so; I don’t have to build it up from scratch.

I am a member, most simply, because I want to support this group. I like it and admire what it’s doing, and want to see it grow. It can’t do that without members, so here I am. I could get some of the spiritual benefits, though not all, without membership. I want more, though – I want John Michael, and any other members so inclined, to write more books, I want to see AODA gatherings and groves around the country, I want to see our online forum have hundreds of members (it’s here, by the way: http://forum.cyberdragons.org/aoda/) and host lively discussions – I want all this to happen, and it won’t without an active and involved membership.

Mark your calender!

I am ridiculously excited that this is happening here. The Frouds! The Matthewses! At my convention center! Midnight faerie movies at the Troc!
whew.

Einigen the Giant

"Three things Divinity has given to every living being: the fullness of its species; the uniqueness of its individuality; and the distinction of an original Awen unlike any other, and these three things set each being apart from all others." - Iolo Morganwg

I'm trying to work this out. I get "fullness of its species" - this is our inheritance. I have an essential human-ness, my cats have essential catness, my elder tree has her essential elderness - we come into this world with attributes of our species and this is the most basic starting point of identity. Uniqueness of identity I also get - my cat holds essential catness, but she is also a unique expression, that particular cat that has never before been and will never again be. But what is the distinction of original Awen? Is this something like the soul? I've never quite understood the word "soul" but I think I might be able to figure out "original Awen." It's going to be the next topic for meditation.

I've been working with poor Einigen the Giant as a meditation theme for the past month.
"Einigen the Giant, first of all beings, beheld three rays of light descending from the heavens. The three rays were also a word of three syllables, the true name of the God Celi, the hidden spirit of life that creates all things. In them was all the knowledge that ever was or will be.

Einigen took three staves of Rowan and carved all the knowledge upon them, in letters of straight and slanted lines. When others saw the staves, they misunderstood and worshipped the staves, rather than learning what was written on them. Einigen's grief and anger was so
great that he burst asunder and died.

A year and a day later, Menw happened on the skull of Einigen and saw the three Rowan staves had taken root and were growing out of the skull's mouth. Menw took the staves and learned to read the writing on them and became famous for his wisdom."
- The Druidry Handbook, JMG, p. 50

The three rays of light are the descending Awen, that three syllable word that is the hidden spirit of life. Coming from above, \| /, Einigen's experience, they represent the Awen that comes from without, the divine flash that comes from outside the self. Einigen gained this knowledge and carved it on staves, in Ogam letters. Others (who are these others? those, I suppose, who have not had the divine inspiration) don't realize that the importance is not in the staves but in what they represent - they are keys to something greater. These others look the wrong way for the knowledge.

I'm forgetting who said this - when I remember I'll come back and edit this and get the quote right, because it's just brilliant - I think it was Philip Carr-Gomm. He said that all the books and words and teachings of Druidry were all secondary sources. The words on the page, or from the mouth of the teacher, are not the knowledge of Druidry. The primary source of Druidry is the Awen, and it is found in the trees and the dirt and the fresh clean air. It's not in books. Those who think to find wisdom in books are like those who worship the staves - they miss the point entirely. If I wanted to be all snarky here I could talk about people with an authenticity fetish who insist that if it's not in the latest scholarly work on the ancient Celts then it's not "real" Druidry.

Poor Einigen can't take this and is totally shattered. The first of all beings, the visionary who sees the three rays of light, the receiver of all knowledge, is blown apart by the misunderstandings of the others. This seemed like a huge overreaction when I first read the story, but of course this is myth and has to be understood this way. It's kind of a Fall sort of creation story, where mankind has access to the understanding of the gods and blows it so completely that the knowledge is taken away forever. By worshipping the rowan staves, they annihilate the one with the true knowledge. He doesn't just die - he is broken to pieces; he disintegrates. He loses that which holds him together. I think it's the Awen that held him together, and his role as the divine receptacle was his entire identity - when he failed to teach the others, he lost himself and who he was and so could no longer exist. Kaboom. He had to go, though - like in any Fall story, the fall is inevitable. There is no possibility at all that things could be otherwise.

A piece survives, though - the skull. A year and a day, the full cycle of seasons goes by and the world is made anew as it is every year. Severed heads are of huge importance in Celtic tales. The head is the seat of the soul, the home of the true identity - the source, as it were, and Einigen is the source of all knowledge - so his skull is an amazing talisman. The staves themselves have transformed as well. No longer plain sticks with writing, they are now living plants. The books (secondary source) have come to life and are now part of the great web of life (primary source) and this transformation happened within the skull of the first of all beings - knowledge and divine inspiration combined with the earth and the forces of nature. Menw (is this the same Menw as in the Mabinogion?) finds these transformed staves, and he reads them. How can he read them? Einigen is not there to interpret them for him. This, as Greer says, represents the other Awen - \| / - that which comes from within. I don't think he's just reading the letters that are on the staves - that's part of it, but he's also reading the rowan and the skull and all. Menw is like the revivalist druid, who has fragments of an old teaching, and through the use of these fragments as well as his own contemplation and mystical insight and the teachings of the rowan and the skull, he comes to Awen. Those others couldn't get there from the staves because they only saw the staves - Menw saw the bigger picture and put himself into it as well, and it was all those things working together that brought him wisdom.

There is so much packed into this little story - myths are funny that way. I'm sure I still only have a small part of it.

December Accomplishments

December was a slow sleepy month for me in some ways. My activity levels were pretty low, but there was actually quite a bit going on at deeper levels.


Earth path:

1. Some nice outdoor meditations, the usual seasonal gardening stuff, that sort of thing. We also got totally switched over to compact flourescents this month - the electric bill has already gone down as a result.

2. I participated in Llyn Hydd Grove's Yule ceremony, which I enjoyed very much. I'm looking forward to getting to know this group better. I also did a solitary AODA ritual on Solstice morning. My usual group didn't meet this month - I feel like my energy isn't going that way anymore and I feel a little bad about that.

3. Daily meditation, of course

Water Path
I haven't done much on this path, at least in any outward way - I've really kept to myself this month. I read Philip Carr-Gomm's "The Druid Way," which was truly inspiring and felt like a great leap forward in my understanding of my spirituality.

Fire Path
I've been doing the AODA ritual form at least twice a week, usually more. This Yule was the first time in a few years that I haven't done a ritual of my own composition - I let Llyn Hydd and the Druidry Handbook tell me what to do instead.

Air Path
I read Beresford-Ellis' and Stuart Piggot's books on the Druids.

Spirit Path
I don't know that I've done anything overt on this path this month - though it's interesting that I decided to look into studying Episcopalian Christianity and suddenly found a grove led by a former Episcopalian minister.

Spirals
Music - Tin whistle is coming along nicely. It's really fun for me.
Divination - I've been doing a daily Ogham divination. Nothing too interesting to report yet - I need more practice and familiarity with it.
Healing - my usual herbalism stuff
Fiber art - this has been a HUGE success for me - I crocheted a scarf and a hat and am ridiculously proud that they both came out well.